The Italian man who went to Malta.
One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel. In the morning I go down to eat breakfast.
I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece.
I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She says "Go to the toilet"
I say "You don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate"
She says to me "You better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch"
I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!
Later, I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife, but no fork.
I tell her "I wanna a fork" and she tells me "Everyone wanna fuck"
I tell her "You don't understand... I wanna fork on the table"
She says "You better not fuck on the table. You sonnawabitch"
So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed.
I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet". He tells me to go the toilet.
I say "You don't understand, I wanna a sheet on my bed"
He says: "You better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch"
I go to the check out and the man at the desk said: "Peace on you"
And I say: "Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth"
I gonna back to Italy!